top of page

My Husband is a Hater of My Work (& Why I Don't Mind)

Fun Fact: My husband is a resilient Army combat aviator and a crazy ultra-runner.

His typical adventures include running up and down both sides of the Grand Canyon in a single day and running 40+ miles of the Appalachian Trail as fast as he can. He is, without a doubt, a very strong athlete!

Ultra runner maximizing his performance on a trail run
Photo credit: Chris Cleary of The Treadmill

However, as I finalize content for my launch of Badass Breakthrough Academy and share it with my husband, he proudly boasts “This is just not my thing.”

Taken a step further, he even challenges some of my ideas and strategies! As you can imagine, this can lead to some intense Team Valentine discussions. However, it is also a beautiful thing because he is literally the most stubborn and challenging athlete I have ever worked with! Not only is he a fascinating case study, but I find I also learn a lot from his strength and perspectives as I’ll detail below.

Badass Breakthrough Academy helps those taking on big health or performance goals learn how to maximize their high-performance potential when things get hard...from experiencing a significantly high-stress life event to simply having a tough workout and needing to push through. In the program, runners and wellness warriors learn strategies to apply so when any life obstacle appears, they have quick and effective skills to crush it before the obstacle has the chance to derail their progress. As you can imagine, this provides you more time and energy to spend progressing your goals and leads to expedited results!

So let’s use physical pain as an example of an obstacle we know many everyday athletes and wellness warriors experience when pushing the limits of their body's performance. (Common sense caveat being, you are not pushing through an injury!)

Football athlete testing the limits of his body's high-performance potential.

Whether you are a football player taking rough hits on the field, or you are an endurance runner with your quads burning as you race towards your next PR, you know pain is inevitably something you will experience. Do you have effective skills to work through your most painful moments to ensure you meet your goals and perform at your best?

There is the science, which informs us with different strategies that can help. Then, there is the art of application of those strategies – finding and knowing what works best for us to maximize our mind-body performance within our most painful moments.

When I discuss this aspect of my program with my husband, he rolls his eyes. He thinks he has his approach to the physical pain obstacle all figured out...and in many ways, he does, and he executes with excellence! So, while our conversations aren’t always comfortable, they are certainly productive in that I can explore why he thinks he’s exempt from needing to optimize this area of his performance. Since my husband knows what works for him to overcome physical pain when it matters most in the heart of his most ambitious adventures, he’s a fascinating case study and someone I will continue to observe and learn from.

On the flip side, while my husband executes with excellence in the heart of physical pain it took me years to figure it out. Let’s take my pregnancy journeys as an example.

While pregnant with my son I ran at least one half marathon per week and strength trained to prepare my body for the physical demand of a natural birth. As a Physiologist, I thought I had it figured out. But you know what? I failed! I was completely thrown off when my son arrived prematurely. I was only on week one of my natural labor class, which unfortunately was a review of the syllabus and ice breaker games. Additionally, I was mentally unprepared to work through the physical pain, so I screamed my way through a very painful natural labor experience.

I was missing quick and effective mindset strategies when faced with the physical pain of labor, especially when it was complicated with unpredictable circumstances.

I’m happy to report not only did I run a half marathon a week to prepare for the birth of my daughter, but I also studied different mind-body strategies I could use to help make it a pain-free experience. I explored how we get the body to work with us and not against us in the heart of potentially gut-wrenching physical pain. It turns out it’s not that complicated, but it took some time for me to master the art of the application of the simple strategies.

Woman athlete, running through pregnancy and having a fit pregnancy.
Wearing my "Running for Two" shirt, ready to go!

The Bottom-line Is: Some of us have mind-body strategies to override the physical pain obstacle all figured out. For others, it takes time to find, own and optimize what works best for us, especially when life is so unpredictable!

My question for anyone taking on a big health or performance goal is, Do you know how to effectively navigate all the various types of obstacles in your journey, from optimizing performance in the heart of physical pain through optimizing your body's ability to recover when life stress is at an all-time high?

How Athletes Can Maximize Their Performance
How do these impact your ability to perform at your best?

While my husband and I's perspectives differ, we certainly have a lot we learn from each other and we both have areas we can improve to boost our high-performance outcomes.

If you’re looking for straightforward, science-backed strategies to maximize your mind-body performance, fill out our quick form to gain access to our free training. We share game-changing info. anyone taking on health & performance goals needs to know! We'll show you exactly how you can ditch your search for solutions for good!

In our training you learn:

  • The game-changing gap (& solution) in accomplishing your next-level goals

  • What are "biggest bang for your buck" health & performance strategies & how do they help you drive results

  • Common wellness industry myths & mistakes you don't want to make

  • Strategies you can apply right away to maximize your mind-body performance potential

Get access here.

In the meaning-time, my husband will continue to serve as my most brutally honest, challenging (and sometime irritating) case study! And yes, I'll admit...the man knows exactly how to work through some seriously rough mental barriers.

Whether you are well on your way to being a full badass runner or you are just getting started, I wish you a high-vibe, empowered journey!


Louise Valentine is an award-winning wellness expert, best-selling author, competitive athlete, and fierce military spouse. Louise runs the Badass Breakthrough Academy, empowering runners and wellness warriors with the exact strategies they need to maximize their high-performance potential when it matters most. You can find Louise & Team Valentine living life out loud on Facebook and Instagram @BreakingThroughWellness.


Don't miss out! Enjoy all of our wellness content by subscribing to the blog below!

bottom of page